Looking for True Friends? (Opinion)

Building strong relationships with people is one way that can make you
successful in life, career, family or business. For instance; role models,
mentors, motivators, financiers etc. Nothing incredible is accomplished
alone. Therefore, developing good relationship skills with people is key to
success of a person's life.

*You need others to help you, and you need to help others. With the right
team, you can form a web of connections to make the seemingly impossible
practically inevitable. However, there are people among your friends,
family, colleagues or relatives who you should either stay away from (if
you can achieve it) or have to properly manage for you to achieve any
progress in life.

I came across this article on "Friends who bring you down" and thought
it is wise to share it with you.

As a young boy, I used to watch, with a mixture of terror and fascination,
as mongooses killed and ate our chicken. Our homestead was surrounded by
thick bushes which provided a home to the menace that is the mongoose. They
mostly predate on chicks, and terrorized our brood daily.

There is a particular breed that kills its prey through suffocation. It
is bigger and heavier than the typical mongoose and has a terrifying way of
luring chicken to their death. It selects a bush that will provide
excellent cover for its upper body, leaving just its rear end jutting out.
Its anal opening has a rough surface that looks like millet. When it
relaxes its muscles, it spreads quite generously and, from a distance,
looks like millet spread on the ground.

So here is what happens: a chicken searching and scratching the ground for
food notices this ear of millet in the bush. It happily runs towards it and
begins pecking on the free food. One peck, two pecks and suddenly, the trap
springs shut! This peculiar predator traps the poor chicken’s head and
suffocates it, the cries of the prey effectively choked.

Often, we run into people who behave exactly like the mongoose. Realizing
their inability to compete with the rest of the world, they set traps,
attractive traps, for unsuspecting victims.

Such “friends” often lure their prey with deceptive smiles and tales, spun
with dexterous mastery. Unfortunately, by the time we realize that they are
out to take advantage of us, it is too late to avoid the disappointment
that follows. Even when we spot the schemes directed our way, we often fail
to respond effectively as the situation requires, therefore creating the
perfect recipe for the suffocation that ensues.

These types of friends can be found everywhere. There is the colleague
who deliberately makes you look bad in your employer’s eyes to get that
coveted promotion.

There is the jealous neighbor with low self-esteem who makes a habit of
feeding other neighbors with malicious gossip about you so that you can be
as miserable as they are.

It could also be that supposedly best friend who has no qualms about making
sexual advances on your husband or saying false things about you to your
boyfriend so that she can break up your relationship.

There is no easy way of telling true friends from the false ones*. It is
this that allows the mongoose friend to get away with his or her treachery.
They hide and blend so well with the crowd that it is impossible to spot
them.

When it comes to friendship, more is not necessarily merrier. In fact, the
lesser friends you have, the easier it is for you to gauge their character
and make an accurate judgment about the kind of people they are.

Another way to sift genuine friends from false ones, a way that is just as
easy to administer as the traps set by mongoose-like friends, involves
treading carefully.

While it can be difficult to identify the threat before it does real harm,
the signs manifest themselves as loudly as we allow them to.
The first thing you should do is verify before you trust. Take time to know
potential friends before you trust them with your friendship.

The second is to compare their values to yours. What is it that you hold
dear? Is it family, work, friendship, or all three?

If their values are different from yours, then their friendship is not the
kind you want.
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